Dave tells a mean fat joke about Roger Ebert, and shortly afterwards the film critic calls Dave a bastard; four singers present the First Annual Late Show Salute to the Word "Ass"; on Day 4 of "She Loves Me" week, Matthew Broderick performs a certain 1950's pop standard, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at the Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the note.