Late Show with David Letterman (1993)
Late Show with David Letterman is an American late-night talk show hosted by David Letterman on CBS. The show debuted on August 30, 1993, and is produced by Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants Incorporated and CBS Television Studios. The show's music director and band-leader of the house band, the CBS Orchestra, is Paul Shaffer. The head writer is Matt Roberts and the announcer is Alan Kalter. Of the major U.S. late-night programs, Late Show ranks second in cumulative average viewers over time and third in number of episodes over time. The show leads other late night shows in ad revenue with $271 million in 2009.
In most U.S. markets the show airs at 11:35 p.m. Eastern/Pacific time, but is recorded Monday through Wednesday at 4:30 p.m., and Thursdays at 3:30 p.m and 6:00 p.m. The second Thursday episode usually airs on Friday of that week.
In 2002, Late Show with David Letterman was ranked No. 7 on TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time. CBS has a contract with World
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7x01 Show #1279
07 September, 1999 8:00 am
Dave rants about the CBS/Viacom merger; Kevin James promotes a new comedy special.
7x02 Show #1280
08 September, 1999 8:00 am
Dave tries to call Sumner Redstone's office, then persuades Ricki Lake to make a crank call to Oprah.
7x03 Show #1281
09 September, 1999 8:00 am
Craig Kilborn promotes some talk show that comes on after Dave's.
7x04 Show #1282
10 September, 1999 8:00 am
John Popper sits in with the band, while Alan punches Sumner Redstone during CBS Mailbag.
7x05 Show #1283
13 September, 1999 8:00 am
George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a "highlight" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).
7x06 Show #1284
14 September, 1999 8:00 am
Andrea Sande and Nadine Hennelly help Joe G's with a Y2K Inspection. They pass, of course.
7x07 Show #1285
15 September, 1999 8:00 am
Throughout the night, staffer Brian Donahue falls down staircases. Later, Meatloaf promotes "Crazy in Alabama."
7x08 Show #1286
16 September, 1999 8:00 am
With the possibility of a rare hurricane hitting New York City, Paul checks for "talk show closings" and Dave comes on stage in a poncho and galoshes. Meanwhile, Jenna Elfman hijacks Anton's drumset, and Christina Aguilera performs "What a Girl Wants."
7x09 Show #1287
17 September, 1999 8:00 am
During CBS Mailbag, Alan threatens to beat up Secretary of the Treasury Lawrence Summers, but he goes to his anger management counselor instead.
7x10 Show #1288
20 September, 1999 8:00 am
Joe Haden fills in for Alan; Warren Zevon fills in for Paul; Rupert walks over to the CBS Store and reviews the new fall shows on CBS.
7x11 Show #1289
21 September, 1999 8:00 am
Paul and a local high schooler try their best to learn how to parallel park, while Robin Williams promotes "Bicentennial Man."
7x12 Show #1290
22 September, 1999 8:00 am
Alan, Regis, Bill Delace, and Mike McIntee portray members of the audience during "Who Asked For It?"; Ashley Judd promotes "Double Jeopardy."
7x13 Show #1291
23 September, 1999 8:00 am
Dave announces that next year, the show will be rechristened "Late Show 2000," while Roger Ebert promotes his revamped talk show.
7x14 Show #1292
24 September, 1999 8:00 am
During CBS Mailbag, Harold Larkin comments on body piercing, while Dave "appears" in a Gap commercial.
7x15 Show #1293
27 September, 1999 8:00 am
Biff gives a blanket to a cold audience girl; Chewy the Dog looks for truffles; Tom Waits sings with a bullhorn.
7x16 Show #1294
28 September, 1999 8:00 am
Nadine, Andrea, Sirajul (but not Mujibur) and Joe G. play "Who Wants to Win a Giant Phony Check for $1,000,000?" Later, Alan promotes a film he just produced called "For the Ladies" (which turns out to be weightlifting porn flick).
7x17 Show #1295
29 September, 1999 8:00 am
Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; in "New for Fall," Mujibur and Sirajul star in the Bollywood musical "Basanta Gan Gaibay"; Evander Holyfield presents the Top Ten, but Lennox Lewis interupts to introduce #1.
7x18 Show #1296
30 September, 1999 8:00 am
Kevin Spacey promotes "American Beauty," then gives Dave a bag of Presidential M&M's. Later, Harold Larkin tells one of the "True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands": He walks into a mysterious closet backstage, falls into a black hole, then walks out in a nonchalant fashion.
7x19 Show #1297
01 October, 1999 8:00 am
Alan's angry because he's not allowed to punch anybody; Dave goes berzerk adjusting his tie; Alan beats up writer Joe Toplyn under Mujibur and Sirajul's supervision.
7x20 Show #1298
04 October, 1999 8:00 am
"Biff Henderson's America" spends four days in Turkey, Texas; David Bowie performs "Thursday's Child."
7x21 Show #1299
05 October, 1999 8:00 am
Mujibur and Sirajul sample food at Hello Deli; an ad for "Late Show on Tour," with Jackie Mason playing Dave; In honor of tonight's guest, Dave announces that he will no longer make any more jokes relating to Dan Quayle.
7x22 Show #1300
06 October, 1999 8:00 am
Tonight's edition of "True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands" finds Pat and Kenny in a plane crash over the Andes, where they're reduced to cannibalism.
7x23 Show #1301
07 October, 1999 8:00 am
A 100-year-old man presents the Top Ten; Biff waits on the fire escape by 53rd street and yells to President Clinton's motorcade that he has snacks.
7x24 Show #1302
08 October, 1999 8:00 am
1999: During CBS Mailbag, Pat Farmer presents "Great Pats throughout History." Later, Sting performs "Brand New Day."
7x25 Bruce Willis, Will Ferrell
11 October, 1999 8:00 am
7x26 Antonio Banderas, Billy Blanks, Wilson Pickett
12 October, 1999 8:00 am
7x27 Farrah Fawcett, Dan Patrick
13 October, 1999 8:00 am
7x28 John Malkovich
14 October, 1999 8:00 am
7x29 Rosanna Arquette
15 October, 1999 8:00 am
7x30 Show #1308
25 October, 1999 8:00 am
Paul and Dave talk about the band's weekend gig at the White House; for his latest World Series report, Biff interviews, amongst others, Evander Holyfield and John Rocker; the octogenarian stars of the hit documentary "The Buena Vista Social Club" perform.
7x31 Show #1309
26 October, 1999 8:00 am
Dave shows a clip from the recently cancelled CBS sitcom Work With Me. Later, David Diaz of WCBS-TV beats up a punk during an on-the-street report.
7x32 Show #1310
27 October, 1999 8:00 am
Martha Stewart makes Halloween treats; Jets QB Vinny Testaverde helps with the annual "Halloween Costumes" segment.
7x33 Show #1311
28 October, 1999 8:00 am
Security boss Bill DeLace disrupts last night's Gore-Bradley debate; your 1999 World Champion New York Yankees present the Top Ten; Denzel Washington plugs "The Bone Collector."
7x34 Show #1312
29 October, 1999 8:00 am
Dave shows a dumb picture of him outside, then gets marksman Armando Aiello to shoot paint balls at it; Dave disses Harmony Korine, who made some choice comments after getting bumped the other night; Mike McIntee and Bill DeLace guard the world's largest pumpkin (1131 pounds).
7x35 Show #1313
01 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave tells a lengthy Halloween candy story, then incorporates his voice into the talking dog from those "Taco Bell" commercials.
7x36 Show #1314
02 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave says hello to all the folks in King's Height Rest Home in New York; Rage Against the Machine performs "War Within a Breath" on the roof in pouring rain.
7x37 Show #1315
03 November, 1999 8:00 am
14-year-old music prodigy Shannon Kerman sits in; Paul's most vivid memory of this year's World Series is reinterpreted by Martin Scorsese and Ricky Martin; after Mujibur and Sirajul play "Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?" at the trendy Ranch 1 restuarant, Biff brings in fried chicken, an item that they claimed they didn't have.
7x38 Show #1316
04 November, 1999 8:00 am
A cannon called the Alludium 2000 Pumpkin Modulator, along with its operator Max Teasdale, wait to launch a giant pumpkin into orbit on 53rd Street. Also, Roberta Glasspari and The East Harlem Violinists (subjects of the film "Music of the Heart") perform with soloist Mark O'Connor.
7x39 Show #1317
05 November, 1999 8:00 am
Live via satellite, a lone microphone stands in the sun for an open mike night in the Mojave Desert. Also, Dr. Lou Arrone gives flu shots to the audience.
7x40 Show #1318
08 November, 1999 8:00 am
NYC Marathon winners Joseph Chebet (of Kenya) and Adrianna Fernandez (of Mexico) run across the stage; Dave mentions that staff members Jay Johnson, Fred Dhimizu and Patty McDonald ran in the same marathon; Kenny Sheehan performs in the Broadway revival of "Annie."
7x41 Show #1319
09 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave mentions that he's #64 on Entertainment Weekly's list of 100 Greatest Entertainers (inbetween Joni Mitchell and Jim Carrey); live via satellite, it's another Open Mic Night in the Mojave Desert; Boots Randolph sits in on sax; Jane Clayson plugs "The Early Show."
7x42 Show #1320
10 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave announces the premiere of "Good Old-Fashioned Fun," which includes Harold Larkin making a snow angel in mayonnaise and Mujibur and Sirajul racing to the death in a soap box derby. Later, former Spice Girl Melanie C sings "I Turn To You."
7x43 Show #1321
11 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave shows a tape of stunt biker/scheduled guest Travis Pastrana's mishap that afternoon, and the injured daredevil later hobbles onstage. By the end of the show, the Hi-Ho Girls are helping Travis repair his bike.
7x44 Show #1322
12 November, 1999 8:00 am
Jay Johnson gives a tour of the set of "The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson." Also, Dr. Lou Arrone does his seasonal audience flu shots.
7x45 Show #1323
15 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave shows a clip that shows that even though he's only been on the network for two weeks, but there's already trouble on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Midway through an interview, a guy accidentally has his arm cut off. Later, Dave and Claudia Schiffer blow up chestnuts in a microwave oven.
7x46 Show #1324
16 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave looks over the 2000 Places Rated Almanac, and then calls Donald Green, the mayor of Kankakee, Illinois, the city which rated lowest. As a condolence, Dave presents the mayor with a gazebo, courtesy of "Gazebo Weekly."
7x47 Show #1325
17 November, 1999 8:00 am
During a segment called "What They're Doing to Boost Their Ratings," magician John Bundy makes a cue card disappear.
7x48 Show #1326
18 November, 1999 8:00 am
Ted Danson plugs "Becker," while Dave demands that #5 in the Top Ten be rewritten at the last minute.
7x49 Show #1327
19 November, 1999 8:00 am
Gabriel Bryne plugs "End of Days," while Dave says hi to Mark Borchardt's friend Mike.
7x50 Show #1328
22 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave, Bill DeLace, Pat Farmer, Biff, intern Laura McCloud, Mike McIntee, Harold Larkin, Paul, Tommy Gordon, and George Clarke comment on "What They're Thankful For."
7x51 Show #1329
23 November, 1999 8:00 am
Tony Mendez and Bill DeLace star in the new CBS midseason replacement series "Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump." Also, Kathie Lee Gifford delivers a turkey to Dave.
7x52 Show #1330
24 November, 1999 8:00 am
"Biff Henderson's America" visits the ranching community of Meeteetse, WY.
7x53 Show #1331
25 November, 1999 8:00 am
Live via satellite from Indianapolis, Mrs. Dorothy Letterman stands in her kitchen while Dave guesses what pies she baked for Thanksgiving. Afterwards, Dorothy shows her refrigerator is loaded with bottle after bottle of Colt 45® malt liquor.
7x54 Show #1332
26 November, 1999 8:00 am
A dog that fetches beer appears on "Stupid Human Tricks"; Dave rants that all the other talk shows are copying the aforementioned segment; another Open Mic Night in the Mohave Desert turns up nothing; Rudy Giuliani presents the Top Ten.
7x55 Show #1333
29 November, 1999 8:00 am
During the segment "The Best and Worst of the Millennium," an image of Sam Donaldson's eyebrows suddenly comes to life. Also, during tonight's Open Mic in the Mojave Desert, a technician tests the open mike and adjusts the height.
7x56 Show #1334
30 November, 1999 8:00 am
Dave announces Monica Lewinsky is dating a former LSDL writer; a customer at Joe G's becomes the subject of his own "E! True Hollywood Story"; Jenny McCarthy plugs "Scream 3."
7x57 Show #1335
01 December, 1999 8:00 am
Glen Campbell sits in; Dave discusses the list of good and bad cities that he mentioned on the show last month, then checks in with Kankakee, IL mayor Donald Green, who receives another gazebo from Dave; Tim Robbins gets clobbered playing ice hockey.
7x58 Show #1336
02 December, 1999 8:00 am
For the umpteenth time this year, Dave orders Inky to spit out his gum; in honor of the Pokemon craze, Dave and the audience play "Know Your Japanese Cartoon Crap."
7x59 Show #1337
03 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x60 Show #1338
13 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x61 Show #1339
14 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x62 Show #1340
15 December, 1999 8:00 am
Throughout the night, various members of the Philadelphia Flyers shoot pucks at a cardboard cutout of Dave. Also, the Turkish guy has been promoted to stagehand.
7x63 Show #1341
16 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x64 Show #1342
17 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x65 Show #1343
20 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x66 Show #1344
21 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x67 Show #1345
22 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x68 Show #1346
23 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x69 Show #1347
27 December, 1999 8:00 am
Feeling a little warm, Dave takes off his coat and does most of the show in just his shirt and tie; in "Who Asked For It?" Patrick Stewart and the Taco Bell chihuahua star in "A Christmas Carol;" Biff performs a holiday-themed duet with a cardboard cutout of Celine Dion.
7x70 Show #1348
28 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x71 Show #1349
29 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x72 Show #1350
30 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x73 Show #1351
31 December, 1999 8:00 am
7x74 Show #1352
03 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x75 Show #1353
04 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x76 Show #1354
05 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x77 Show #1355
06 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x78 Show #1356
07 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x79 Show #1357
10 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x80 Show #1358
11 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x81 Show #1359
12 January, 2000 8:00 am
7x82 Show #1360
13 January, 2000 8:00 am
Dave thanks Rob Burnett for landing Hillary Clinton on the show; Art Donovan plays ping pong with the disgusting Turkish guy; Lynyrd Skynard performs "Sweet Home Alabama."
7x83 Show #1361
14 January, 2000 8:00 am
Regis comes out for his interview with the disgusting Turkish guy, and later Dave tells him he's scheduled for an angiogram tomorrow morning.
7x84 Late Show: Backstage #1
07 February, 2000 8:00 am
It's the debut of Late Show Backstage, a clip show hosted tonight by Charles Grodin while Dave recovers from his quintuple-bypass surgery three weeks before. Amongst the highlights: Charles chats with Julia Roberts, Dave's interview with J.Ro from May 17, 1999, a Top Ten list from John Malkovich (see Show #1307), and to cap the night, Charles and surprise guest Regis Philbin.
7x85 Late Show: Backstage #2
08 February, 2000 8:00 am
"Backstage," Day 2: Regis is now sitting in a whole new "hot seat" as the clip show's second host in as many nights. Tonight, he chats with Jerry Seinfeld, who introduces footage of Dave doing the Top Ten without pants, and Danny DeVito, who for one reason or another shows a clip from Taxi.
7x86 Late Show: Backstage #3
09 February, 2000 8:00 am
Backstage #3: Paul appears on the Late Show for the first time since Dave's surgery, sitting on a movie set with Bruce Willis and his old friend Martin Short. Amongst tonight's clips: Bruce doing various stunts; Casey Kasem presents the Top Ten (see Show #0005); Dave makes crank phone calls (also Show #0005); Martin Short sings a selection from the musical Little Me.
7x87 Late Show: Backstage #4
10 February, 2000 8:00 am
Backstage, Day 4: Regis hosts again, chatting with Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker, and "the great" Pat Farmer. Amongst the clips: Bill goes to the balcony via a ladder; a Top Ten featuring Barry White; Dave and Sarah mingle with Kid Scientists.
7x88 Late Show: Backstage #5
11 February, 2000 8:00 am
Backstage, Day 5: Paul hosts again, this time with Dave's buddies Steve Martin and Billy Crystal. Amongst the clips: Steve mans a projector to show a clip from his latest movie (see Show #0499); the Top Ten list from the fifth anniversary special, with Jerry Seinfeld escorting Dave's mom onstage; Dave hangs out with Olympic judges (see Show #0963). At the end of the show, Paul and Billy goof around behind the scenes at The Price Is Right.
7x89 Late Show: Backstage #6
14 February, 2000 8:00 am
Backstage, Day 6: In the cold opening, Paul tries to hit on Drew Barrymore. Amongst the clips: Drew flashing Dave on his 48th birthday; Drew and Dave getting married one month after said clip; ten beautiful women present the Top Ten (see Show #0543); Ray Romano singing "Silent Night" as his kids beat each other up.
7x90 Late Show: Backstage #7
15 February, 2000 8:00 am
Backstage, Day 7: Comedian David Brenner interrogates Kathie Lee Gifford and Alec Baldwin. Tonight's clips: Dave hijacks the Butterball turkey hotline (see Show #1345); a Top Ten remote from Bill DeLace; Alec shares child-rearing tips with Dave.
7x91 Late Show: Backstage #8
16 February, 2000 8:00 am
Backstage, Day 8: Former "Tomorrow" and "Late Late Show" host Tom Snyder trades a bon mot or two with Norm MacDonald and Don Rickles. Tonight's clips: Norm vents after being demoted on SNL (see Show #0936); a Top Ten from Demi Moore; Don tells Dave how he met Frank Sinatra.
7x92 Late Show: Backstage #9
17 February, 2000 8:00 am
Backstage, Day 9: Tom Snyder's still here, and this time he hosts Mike Myers, Roseanne Barr, and Bonnie Hunt. Tonight's clips: Dave shows film footage of Mike as a Canadian Cub Scout; Mike wishes his mom a happy birthday (see Show #0960); a Top Ten from James Earl Jones; Roseanne talks basketball.
7x93 Late Show: Backstage #10
18 February, 2000 8:00 am
"Backstage," Day 10: After chatting with Robin Williams, Tom Arnold openly comments that he's disappointed that Jack Hanna didn't bring any animals to the set. Tonight's clips: Robin storms out of the backdrop (see Show #0001); Dave meets Frisco hippie Manny Papp (see Show #0589); Dave makes baby talk with a monkey.
7x94 Show #1362
21 February, 2000 8:00 am
Dave introduces the surgeons that saved his life and welcomes (for the third time in two months) Regis.
7x95 Show #GH1
22 February, 2000 8:00 am
Bill Cosby opens up a box of basketball cards with Vince Carter.
7x96 Show #1363
23 February, 2000 8:00 am
In his first post-surgery rant, Dave hollers about having to be driven to work for a while, and then really fumes about having to drink decaffeinated coffee; during a segment called "How The Media Covered Dave's Surgery," Dave shows a (bogus) supermarket tabloid stating that he had actually given birth to quintuplets.
7x97 Show #GH2
24 February, 2000 8:00 am
Kathie Lee Gifford becomes the latest guest host to alternate with Dave while he continues to recuperate from heart surgery. Tonight, she gets heckled by an audience member who notices that she's not wearing a bra, to which she snaps back, "Go wear a jock strap!"
7x98 Show #1364
25 February, 2000 8:00 am
Mailbag: George Clarke addresses the comments made about his weight problem, and Dave flashes back to when he woke up from surgery resembling Don King. Also, Hank Hill (of "King of the Hill") wishes Dave to get well.
7x99 Show #1365
28 February, 2000 8:00 am
"Biff Henderson's America" wrecks havoc in Badger, Minnesota, while Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull performs from his new album.
7x100 Show #GH3
29 February, 2000 8:00 am
David Brenner fills in for Dave and does about ten minutes of stand-up. Later, he chats with Aida Turturro of The Sopranos.
7x101 Show #1366
01 March, 2000 8:00 am
Dave continues to rant about decaffeinated coffee; George W. Bush is interrogated live via satellite; Fiona Apple performs "On The Bound."
7x102 Show #GH4
02 March, 2000 8:00 am
Nathan Lane is the latest fill-in host, and he introduces a short film about the many perks of taking over for Dave. Later, he sings a song from the musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown with Kristin Chenoweth.
7x103 Show #1367
03 March, 2000 8:00 am
Steely Dan promotes its first album in two decades, "Two Against Nature."
7x104 Show #1368
06 March, 2000 8:00 am
Paul is wearing a white tailored suit tonight, prompting Dave to point out that the bandleader is the musical director of the upcoming Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. Also, Sandra and Nadine help Dave celebrate eighteen years in late night, even though the anniversary was over a month ago.
7x105 Show #GH5
07 March, 2000 8:00 am
Janeane Garofalo becomes the latest guest host; "slide whistle legend" Bazeel sits in; Janeane does tonight's interviews sitting in a school desk placed in front of Dave's desk; Bob Odenkirk and David Cross make funny noises; Bazeel and the band performs "Wipe Out."
7x106 Show #1369
08 March, 2000 8:00 am
During "Campaign 2000," Maria fills in for Rob, who's too busy working on the NBC pilot Ed; Biff presents the winning contestant of tonight's "Beat the Clock" with the home version of the game (a checkerboard); "Phil Carmichael" of CBS Promotions (Bill DeLace) does a presentation on ratings stunts.
7x107 Show #GH6
09 March, 2000 8:00 am
Guest host Dana Carvey chats with former "SNL" cronies Jon Lovitz and Al Franken.
7x108 Show #1370
10 March, 2000 8:00 am
7x109 Show #1371
20 March, 2000 8:00 am
In a remarkably lengthy edition of "Campaign 2000," Dave decides not to perform a piece comparing Bush and Gore, and then rants about his cable service. Afterwards, he admits that this is his last night in television, so he introduces his family, then claims he's moving to St. Louis to work for Ralston Purina. Also, while cooking with Martha Stewart, Dave attempts to juggle eggs.
7x110 Show #1372
21 March, 2000 8:00 am
Biff devours the first robin of spring; the disgusting Turkish guy disappears; Pat and Kenny toss Matthew Broderick's birthday cake off the roof.
7x111 Show #1373
22 March, 2000 8:00 am
Out on 53rd Street, Biff has a hand counter to help with the ongoing US Census; Dave shows a clip of Barbara Walters making a weird facial reaction during her latest Oscar special; the Gore-Bush bit from two nights ago is finally performed in its entirety; Biff counts a total of 1,482 people in the United States.
7x112 Show #1374
27 March, 2000 9:00 am
Rob Burnett returns to his desk on the corner of the stage; during “Campaign 2000,” Dave comments on CBS’ new slogan (“The address… is CBS”) and cracks wise on Gene Keady’s hair; during the Top Ten, Dave makes a rare bald joke aimed at Paul.
7x113 Show #1375
28 March, 2000 9:00 am
Cold opening: Dr. Henry Kissinger announces that he's Dave's latest guest host, only to learn rather abruptly that Dave isn't sick anymore. Also, Dave has Rupert make a Hello Deli's latest menu addition, the kosher-friendly "Paul Shaffer Sandwich," and a few minutes later Rupert delivers it to its namesake.
7x114 Show #1376
29 March, 2000 9:00 am
Paul is introduced as Gaston Mazacani; Rob tells a funny story about an incident he had with a cab driver; during a segment called "What I like about Spring," Alan unwittingly admits that he's on the down low.
7x115 Show #1377
30 March, 2000 9:00 am
Dave demonstrates the "magic" of decaffeinated coffee by mixing food coloring in water.
7x116 Show #1378
31 March, 2000 9:00 am
During Campaign 2000, nobody can muster up any interesting topics, so Dave discusses Daylight Savings Time. Later, Dave brings up the recently-announced discovery that most gay men have unusual finger length, so Dave, Paul and Biff (in a dress) check their hands.
7x117 Show #1379
03 April, 2000 8:00 am
Campaign 2000: Dave finds a tick on his suit, panics, calls Dr. Lou Aronne, then shows three ticks close-up using a special camera.
7x118 Show #1380
04 April, 2000 8:00 am
Dave announces that the show is adopting (and thus protecting) Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez; Rupert makes a Biff Henderson sandwich for Paul, but not for Biff; Dave mentions that he received a phone call from Johnny Carson shortly after his shout-out last week.
7x119 Show #1381
05 April, 2000 8:00 am
7x120 Show #1382
06 April, 2000 8:00 am
7x121 Show #1383
07 April, 2000 8:00 am
Actor Stephen Tobolowsky sits in; during Mailbag, we learn that Tony is Fidel Castro's estranged son; Jon Stewart tries to give Dave a human heart, and after Dave declines, Jon walks offstage and puts it back in a very annoyed Tony Randall.
7x122 Show #1384
10 April, 2000 8:00 am
7x123 Show #1385
11 April, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows a clip of the recent live television remake of Fail Safe to demonstrate how lax CBS is at preventing profanities from being heard on-air. Also, Jenna Elfman promotes Keeping the Faith.
7x124 Show #1386
12 April, 2000 8:00 am
Dave announces he's 41 today because he's not counting his 12 years at NBC; during a segment called "Job Hunting Tips," a barbershop quartet sings intern Bob Dickerson's resume; Richard Simmons calls up Daddy to wish him a happy birthday, and Dave promptly hangs up on him.
7x125 Show #1387
13 April, 2000 8:00 am
Campaign 2000: Dave honors a bald audience member. Later, Biff hands out Broadway tickets to two couples in the audience.
7x126 Show #1388
14 April, 2000 8:00 am
Mick Taylor of the Rolling Stones sits in; with nothing to discuss, "Campaign 2000" lasts exactly six seconds; during Mailbag, Dave and Paul star in the new crime drama "Good Cop, Good Cop."
7x127 Show #1389
24 April, 2000 8:00 am
Paul says his 86-year-old father, Bernard Shaffer, had a quintuple bypass yesterday and later Bruce Kapler admits that his dad had a mere double bypass a year ago. Also, Dave stops the show to read the latest issue of Oprah's magazine.
7x128 Show #1390
25 April, 2000 8:00 am
After discussing Oprah's magazine on and off for the last few weeks, Dave announces that the first issue of "D," the Dave magazine, has finally been rolled out. Also, Alan interrupts "Campaign 2000" to announce he's been reunited with his fat German son.
7x129 Show #1391
26 April, 2000 8:00 am
The INS captures and seizes Tony (twice); Purdue University basketball coach Gene Keady presents the Top Ten; The Smashing Pumpkins perform "Blue Skies Bring Tears."
7x130 Show #1392
27 April, 2000 8:00 am
The INS harasses Tony again; Rob Burnett appears live via satellite from LA for "Campaign 2000"; Alan and his fat, gender-confused German son celebrate Take Your Daughters to Work Day.
7x131 Show #1393
28 April, 2000 8:00 am
During Mailbag, Alan admits to doing the deed with Janet Reno; production assistant Jeremy Weiner is subjected to Paul's favorite game, "Staffer/Not a Staffer"; David Wells and Bernie Williams present the Top Ten.
7x132 Show #1394
01 May, 2000 8:00 am
Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell sit in; Dave announces the blood test following last week's tick incident came out negative; in homage to a trend that sweeping various TV shows nowadays, "Campaign 2000" is shown in letterbox; independent film maker Mark Borchardt presents his interview with former Presidential candidate Gary Bauer.
7x133 Show #1395
02 May, 2000 8:00 am
Live via satellite, we go to Preston Luggage in Dallas for another lengthy chat with Al Cordova and his assistant Kathy. Also, during "Campaign 2000," Maria Pope introduces Rob Burnett, who walks onstage to a standing ovation.
7x134 Show #1396
03 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave honors "Great Bald Men throughout History" (him, Paul, and Dwight D. Eisenhower), while we watch the latest round of "Biff Henderson's Fun with a Stopwatch."
7x135 Show #1397
04 May, 2000 8:00 am
Julia Louis-Dreyfus sings a song from West Side Story, and Jerry Seinfeld shows up to "sing" with her. Also, Dave shows footage of a woman dropping a bowling ball on her husband's noggin.
7x136 Show #1398
05 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave announces he was pulled over for speeding again, then kisses up to the New York State police; during "Campaign 2000," Dave sings the praises of Tivo; ten jockeys present the Top Ten.
7x137 Show #1399
08 May, 2000 8:00 am
Apparently, Michelle O'Calaghan had another baby over the weekend; Dave says he's been called to jury duty, prompting a brief state of panic; during another "What's New" segment, Pat and Kenny attempt to recite Shakespeare; a morbidly obese man is introduced as the winning jockey of last weekend's Kentucky Derby.
7x138 Show #1400
09 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave continues to comment on the jury duty situation; the outside cam heads for Joe G's to play "Would You Like To Win a Phony Check for 350 Million Dollars?"; after three years of struggling, Rob Burnett finally shows footage of his daughters not being afraid of the Easter Bunny.
7x139 Show #1401
10 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows a CNN clip and a newspaper article pertaining to the jury duty controversy; during "Campaign 2000," Paul admits he had a nightmare involving Maria Pope; Caroline Rhea discusses relationships.
7x140 Show #1402
11 May, 2000 8:00 am
Kathie Lee Gifford discusses her pending departure from her talk show, then "sings" "Love Never Fails."
7x141 Show #1403
12 May, 2000 8:00 am
Rob and Dave go over the ground rules for Richard Simmons' latest visit tonight, including permission to use a fire extinguisher on Richard if needed; during Mailbag, Dave becomes pen-pals with viewer Tyler Gatlin; ten celebrity moms (including Gerard and Dorothy) present the Top Ten, though it wouldn't become a yearly tradition until 2002.
7x142 Show #1404
15 May, 2000 8:00 am
Peter Frampton fills in for Felicia Collins, who had a gig; Paul mentions that Anton is getting married over this coming weekend; Rob announces that Ed has officially been picked up for NBC's fall schedule.
7x143 Show #1405
16 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave mangles the song "Memory," while Rupert and Tony Randall are invited to "Campaign 2000" but have absolutely nothing worth saying.
7x144 Show #1406
17 May, 2000 8:00 am
Campaign 2000: Dave mentions the final episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, which proceeds into another one of Alan's crying jags.
7x145 Show #1407
18 May, 2000 8:00 am
A man pretending to be Les Moonves delivers a Murder, She Wrote to Dave; the retirement of longtime White House press corps member Helen Thomas is discussed, so Dave shows a gag reel showing memorable moments of her career dating back to 1492; Dave promotes tomorrow night's bowling ball stunt.
7x146 Show #1408
19 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave announces that this is the season finale; Dave and Maria bid farewell to Rob Burnett, who will now be busy at work with Ed; Tonya Smith drops a bowling ball on the head of Ken Richmond from 12 feet above the stage; Ringo Starr and the All-Starr Band sing "With a Little Help from My Friends."
7x147 Show #1409
22 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave has problems adjusting the lumbar of his chair; Maria Pope brags about sleeping 21 hours straight; Michael J. Fox discusses his health-related "retirement" from television.
7x148 Show #1410
23 May, 2000 8:00 am
Buzz Aldrin interviews this year's nominees for the Daytime Emmys in a spacesuit; Mujibur and Sirajul make a basketball wager with Rupert; Dave flips through a furniture catalog; Matchbox Twenty performs "Crutch" out on the sidewalk.
7x149 Show #1411
24 May, 2000 8:00 am
James Earl Jones reads excerpts from Richard Simmons' new autobiography; "Biff Henderson's America" spends a couple of days in Calhoun, Missouri; a man pretending to be Les Moonves promotes the new game show Survivor while dressed up as Moses.
7x150 Show #1412
25 May, 2000 8:00 am
"Biff's Fun with a Stopwatch" goes to a Pacers playoff game, during which he shoplifts, then harasses a fat guy.
7x151 Show #1413
26 May, 2000 8:00 am
Dave drops his flipped pencil; during Mailbag, "Bob Knight" (Gerard) cannibalizes one of his players; Dave discusses his new chair.
7x152 Show #1414
05 June, 2000 8:00 am
7x153 Show #1415
06 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave makes his first-ever comments on the CBS' latest hit Survivor, and then brings up jury duty again, exclaiming "Some dudes will be going down!"
7x154 Show #1416
07 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave says Campaign 2000 is "largely void of content, (and) just a big waste of time." During tonight's segment, however, Paul openly wishes that they would use his name as a clue on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Also, Alan gives tips for summer safety, which quickly morphs into an excuse to rip off his shirt and pour suntan lotion all over his body.
7x155 Show #1417
08 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave introduces Paul as Wayne "Fat Boy" Ewing; in honor of Survivor, George Clarke locks himself in the boiler room with nothing but a video camera and some rations, and eventually ends up chewing his arm off; Biff reports from Game 1 of the NBA Finals in Los Angeles.
7x156 Show #1418
09 June, 2000 8:00 am
Paul hosts a game called "Staffer / Not a Staffer," in which Dave must guess if the person onstage is one of his underlings. He correctly guesses that it is a staffer; talent researcher Nick Prueher. Also, Maria Pope discusses a recent trip to Hooters.
7x157 Show #1419
12 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave announces that he's fulfilled his jury duty up in Connecticut (he didn't make the cut); George Clarke continues to hold on for dear life in the boiler room; Biff visits the NBA Finals in LA; Maria and Paul offer their condolences to Dave.
7x158 Show #1420
13 June, 2000 8:00 am
Pat Farmer fixes Dave's chair; during an outside cam bit involving the CBS Store and a new electronics shop next door, Tony Randall is found standing on the roof for no particular reason; the 2000 Stanley Cup Champion New Jersey Devils walk onstage for "Campaign 2000," then hang out at the CBS Store.
7x159 Show #1421
14 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave announces the birth of Kathy Mavrikakis' daughter; George Clarke is now trapped in the boiler room with two prostitutes, and then declares himself a "Volcano God"; Isaac Hayes conducts an orchestra performing the theme from Shaft.
7x160 Show #1422
15 June, 2000 8:00 am
An old man (not Calvert) shuffles his feet onstage at the end of the monologue, then walks away; for Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Stacey Stillman, the first Survivor loser to appear on the Late Show; Dave tastes Naomi Campbell's new shower gel.
7x161 Show #1423
16 June, 2000 8:00 am
Laurie Diamond brings Dave a new cup of coffee after someone steals his mug; during Mailbag, Gerard comments on Survivor; during "Stupid Pet Tricks," Dave accidentally steps on dog's tail and gets bitten on the face.
7x162 Show #1424
19 June, 2000 8:00 am
7x163 Show #1425
20 June, 2000 8:00 am
Paul Rodgers of Bad Company sits in on vocals; after Dave worries about possible civil disobedience in downtown LA after the Lakers' NBA Championship, Harold Larkin opens the door to reveal rioting outside the theater; Mark Wahlberg promotes The Perfect Storm.
7x164 Show #1426
21 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows a (phony) tape of Tiger Woods disintegrating opponents' balls with his laser eyes; during Campaign 2000, "Rita Buttgas" (Jude Brennan) returns to celebrate the one-year anniversary of her $100 victory on "Alan's Secret Word" and discusses the hardships she's had since her fleeting fame fizzled; Dana Carvey and Dave share stories about their heart problems.
7x165 Show #1427
22 June, 2000 8:00 am
George continues to hold on to dear life in the boiler room; "non-surviving Survivor" Ramona Gray interrupts "Campaign 2000"; PJ Olsson performs "Visine."
7x166 Show #1428
23 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave demonstrates troubles with newscasters who look at the wrong camera by moving his head every five seconds; during Mailbag, Biff chats with (pre-recorded) footage of Shaquille O'Neal; Worldwide Pants production assistant Allison Abbate is the latest to be subjected to "Staffer- Not a Staffer."
7x167 Show #1429
26 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave repeats the footage of the dog bite from last week, now claiming that a "wild dingo" gave him rabies; Dave says George W. Bush is "(as) dumb as a box of tools"; after his interview, Tom Brokaw walks straight back to Rockefeller Center.
7x168 Show #1430
27 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave confesses that he has a slight crush on British news anchor Daljit Dhaliwal. Later, Alan interrupts Dave to congratulate the genetics scientists for cracking the genetic code, then offers "specimens" for the lady researchers.
7x169 Show #1431
28 June, 2000 8:00 am
Ted Nugent sits in; Dave rants about the "wild island sex" on Survivor; Martha Stewart arrives onstage on a red, white and blue bike, then gives The Nuge a guitar case made entirely of pinecones.
7x170 Show #1432
29 June, 2000 8:00 am
Maria tells Dave that newscaster/hottie Daljit Dhaliwal has been booked for next week, while Dave announces that he's doing a favor for a cop who stopped him for speeding recently by having him appear on the show. Also, Dave and Survivor loser Dirk Been comment on how everybody's losing weight on the show except Richard Hatch.
7x171 Show #1433
30 June, 2000 8:00 am
Dave brags that he's going to a gin n' tonic party after the show to look for some babes; during Mailbag, Biff blows Dan Rather's head off; a social worker named Lauren is the first real decoy to appear on "Staffer- Not a Staffer."
7x172 Show #1434
03 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave plays the tapes of the dog bite and the deer attack yet again; during Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Dave to a First Mate in the US Navy, and 200 sailors from the USS Nassau storm the stage right afterward; Brian Wilson and Friends perform "Sloop John B."
7x173 Show #1435
04 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave introduces the "Late Show Liberty Dancers"; live via telephone, the owner of a nearby fireworks shop shoots explosives; the finalists of this year's National Hollerin' Championship perform onstage.
7x174 Show #1436
05 July, 2000 8:00 am
The "Liberty Dancers" are rechristened "The 5th of July Dancers"; an audience guy with a very distinctive goatee is the subject of a reality show-themed Top Ten; Dave bullies Tony into promoting his self-titled internet program.
7x175 Show #1437
06 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave finally meets Daljit Dhaliwal, who seems more interested in discussing world affairs then responding to Dave's thinly-veiled flirting. Also, Shawn Wayans promotes Scary Movie.
7x176 Show #1438
07 July, 2000 8:00 am
Pat and Kenny replace Dave's chair; Dave welcomes Sgt. John Best of the Marshall (Texas) Police Department as the new co-host of the show; Jerry Foley appears on "Staffer- Not a Staffer" and nearly stumps Dave.
7x177 Show #1439
17 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave asks the viewers at home to have a nice, tasty beverage while they watch the show; Survivor tenth-place finisher Gretchen Cordy drops by; Elliott Smith performs "Somebody That I Used to Know."
7x178 Show #1440
18 July, 2000 8:00 am
Live from the theater basement, it's "Let's Look for Rats." The piece gets off to a slow start, until Alan runs downstairs to scare them into appearing on camera.
7x179 Show #1441
19 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave continues to refer to Paul as Wayne "Fat Boy" Ewing; Alan shows Dave photos from his recent vacation; Maria confirms that Al Gore's interested in being a guest on the show; Ben Folds Five (in their last TV appearance) performs "Regrets."
7x180 Show #1442
20 July, 2000 8:00 am
Continuing with a running gag that started the previous week, Dave shows a "Anna Kournikova Play of the Day" (footage of her drinking a water bottle), followed by similar clips from Don Zimmer and Larry King. Also, Gerard impersonates Survivor loser Greg Buis (who was sick) for a spirited chat during "Campaign 2000."
7x181 Show #1443
21 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave trims off half of his tie; Alan has a crying jag over Kathie Lee Gifford's departure from her daytime talk show; Dave and Jon Stewart discuss politics.
7x182 Show #1444
24 July, 2000 8:00 am
Pat and Kenny play Frisbee on the roof; the latest roll call introduces us to such people behind-the-scenes as Tony Mendez’s puppet-master, Dave’s fiancé and Paul’s girlfriend (the same woman), and a staffer who’s still living in his Y2K bunker; Dave suggests that a proposed Bush-Gore debate on the show will utilize Jai Alai scoring.
7x183 Show #1445
25 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave suggests that someone on the staff is messing around with his chair; during "Campaign 2000," Maria Pope tells Dave that there has been no word from the Bush camp; George Plimpton reads the new Harry Potter book, but not aloud; Ween performs "Even If You Don't."
7x184 Show #1446
26 July, 2000 8:00 am
A new controversy brews as Dave claims he's going to dust his chair for "ass prints"; Harold Larkin is attacked by a giant can of Off! bug spray; Kathie Lee Gifford receives a farewell present from Dave.
7x185 Show #1447
27 July, 2000 8:00 am
An audience member names all ten of her grandkids; the entire theater is filled with mosquito spray; Kathie Lee returns to present the Top Ten.
7x186 Show #1448
28 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave hits Alan with a baseball bat; a blonde woman pretending to be Kathie Lee says goodbye forever to Dave; David Gray performs "Babylon."
7x187 Show #1449
31 July, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows (bogus) footage of a guy with defibrillator paddles standing near Dick Cheney during a television interview. Later, Macy Gray sings "I Try."
7x188 Show #1450
01 August, 2000 8:00 am
During "Campaign 2000," Tony Randall botches a comedy piece. Later, Nathan Lane talks about his dog and sings.
7x189 Show #1451
02 August, 2000 8:00 am
Alan goes berzerk and chases a man outside. Later, Dave chats with President Clinton's press secretary Joe Lockhart.
7x190 Show #1452
03 August, 2000 8:00 am
Maria introduces Dave to "Survivor" contestant Gervase Peterson. Later, NBC weatherman Al Roker promotes his new book.
7x191 Show #1453
04 August, 2000 8:00 am
During CBS Mailbag, Mujibur and Sirajul debate "Do you like monkeys?", which results in a lengthy fistfight. Later, after another one of Inky Mendez's tantrums, we see an ad for "Dave and Tony's How to Rant In Spanish" educational videotape.
7x192 Show #1454
07 August, 2000 8:00 am
For no apparent reason, the CEO of Qualcomm presents Dave with a check for $25,000. Later, Dave chats with Jean Jordan, the stripper-turned-writer who was eliminated from "Big Brother 1."
7x193 Show #1455
08 August, 2000 8:00 am
"The Late Show Iron Chef" pits Rupert Jee against Joe G. Rupert wins decisively with his chicken rollatini.
7x194 Show #1456
09 August, 2000 8:00 am
Biff goes outside to count sweaty people; during "Campaign 2000," Alan interrupts Maria with a soulful rendition of "Send in the Clowns."
7x195 Show #1457
10 August, 2000 8:00 am
Paul joins Dave for "Know Your Jewish U.S. Senators." During "Campaign 2000," Maria introduces Dave to "Survivor I" runner-up Colleen Haskell.
7x196 Show #1458
11 August, 2000 8:00 am
Vince Vaughn promotes "The Cell," while Maria expresses her optimism in a possible debate between George W. Bush and Al Gore right here on the show.
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