Late Show with David Letterman (1993)
Late Show with David Letterman is an American late-night talk show hosted by David Letterman on CBS. The show debuted on August 30, 1993, and is produced by Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants Incorporated and CBS Television Studios. The show's music director and band-leader of the house band, the CBS Orchestra, is Paul Shaffer. The head writer is Matt Roberts and the announcer is Alan Kalter. Of the major U.S. late-night programs, Late Show ranks second in cumulative average viewers over time and third in number of episodes over time. The show leads other late night shows in ad revenue with $271 million in 2009.
In most U.S. markets the show airs at 11:35 p.m. Eastern/Pacific time, but is recorded Monday through Wednesday at 4:30 p.m., and Thursdays at 3:30 p.m and 6:00 p.m. The second Thursday episode usually airs on Friday of that week.
In 2002, Late Show with David Letterman was ranked No. 7 on TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time. CBS has a contract with World
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8x01 Show #1459
21 August, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows that he has a bandaged finger, claiming that he got a poison gas sensor alarm at his house over the weekend. He later breaks down, admitting that he cut his finger making potato salad.
8x02 Show #1460
22 August, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows a supposed clip of the Bushes applauding Al Gore's acceptance speech. Later, several of Joe G's customers participate in a game called "Pizza Survivor."
8x03 Show #1461
23 August, 2000 8:00 am
The cast of the original "Survivor" are featured in a special Top Ten list. Later, Dave chats with Jack Hanna.
8x04 Show #1462
24 August, 2000 8:00 am
Dave asks "Survivor I" winner Richard Hatch about his "appearance" on the show last night.
8x05 Show #1463
25 August, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows the "rabid dingo" bite clip again; Biff tests his psychic abilities with unlabeled canned goods; Donal Logue promotes "The Tao of Steve."
8x06 Show #1464
28 August, 2000 8:00 am
Dave's finger still hurts; Paul offers to pick up Anna Kournikova for her upcoming appearance; Alan makes a special offer to Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres (who just split up).
8x07 Show #1465
29 August, 2000 8:00 am
Dave fusses about the polar ice caps melting and The Weather Channel's inability to cover it. Later, Alan closes "Campaign 2000" by singing "Climb Every Mountain" and starting a fight.
8x08 Show #1466
30 August, 2000 8:00 am
On the 7th anniversary of the first episode on CBS, Dave points out that he has made exactly 3,280 episodes in late night, and that his favorite was #1150. Later, Biff goes to a summer camp in Honesdale, PA.
8x09 Show #1467
31 August, 2000 8:00 am
Dave quizzes a secretary from Hartford with "Know Your Employees of Don Hewlett Chevrolet-Oldsmobile-Buick in Georgetown, Texas."
8x10 Show #1468
01 September, 2000 8:00 am
During CBS Mailbag, Gerard explains why he's voting for Bush, and Dave marries Richard Hatch of "Survivor I" fame.
8x11 Show #1469
04 September, 2000 8:00 am
During a segment called "Summer Memories," Anton recalls being attacked by a giant mosquito. Later, Carson Daly plugs "TRL."
8x12 Show #1470
05 September, 2000 8:00 am
After reviewing stills of Dave's hand being stitched up, we're ready for the removal of the stitches, simulcast on www.cbs.com/lateshow. In the guest chair is Dr. Lou Arrone; he says Dave "almost cut off the tip of his finger." Dr. Robert Hodgkiss comes out and puts on goofy glasses. The Hi-Ho Babes bring out the medical equipment. Dave plays with special small magnifying camera by putting it in his mouth and down his pants. Finally, all 3 stitches come out. Shortly afterwards, Rupert brings in potato salad.
8x13 Show #1471
06 September, 2000 8:00 am
Alan interrupts Dave, claiming Monday was his 5th anniversary working on the show. He's mad because Dave forgot. He runs out into street, strips to his undies, and flips Dave off.
8x14 Show #1472
07 September, 2000 8:00 am
An audience member from Buffalo named Mel Chastain plays "Know Your Professional Bill Gates Lookalikes." Dave likes her so much that Biff hands her "Lion King" tickets.
8x15 Show #1473
08 September, 2000 8:00 am
CBS Mailbag: Dave teaches grade school, while "AP writer Adam Klymer" (the scribe Dubya referred to as a "Major League Asshole," as played by Gerard) gives the future president the finger. Later, Greg Kinnear promotes "Dinner with Friends."
8x16 Show #1474
11 September, 2000 8:00 am
Biff blows up a bicycle tube and a soccer ball with a tire pump; Sting and Cheb Mami sing "Desert Rose."
8x17 Show #1475
12 September, 2000 8:00 am
How Many Guys in Cat Suits Can Fit into a Coffee Shop? Walking in with no resistance are seven cats, a dog, Santa, a guy in a red cape, three monkeys, Moses, Dracula, Hercules, and a clown.
8x18 Show #1476
13 September, 2000 8:00 am
A "Banned from the Classroom" bit includes a jar of spit ball spit; Jack Daniels drink boxes; Professor George W. Bush's Build Your Own Electric Chair kit; the book Human Sexuality by the Gores; Elmer's Paste with Sprinkles; Dave Letterman anatomy chart; Crayola 64 pack cigarettes; and Hot Wheel Cars with (exploding) Firestone tires.
8x19 Show #1477
14 September, 2000 8:00 am
Warren Zevon fills in for Paul Shaffer, who was sick that night.
8x20 Show #1478
15 September, 2000 8:00 am
Nadine and Andrea rescue Calvert from under Dave's desk again. Later, Dave shows a "new" Hillary Clinton ad.
8x21 Show #1479
25 September, 2000 8:00 am
Dave goes on another lengthy tirade, correcting an article that appeared in yesterday's New York Times Magazine, calling Rush Limbaugh a "giant bag of gas," and then showing a photo of Jay Leno to demonstrate why his rival is "the goofiest-looking man in television."
8x22 Show #1480
26 September, 2000 8:00 am
Dave gives the results of Olympic events before they air on NBC. Belgium seems to have won all of them except one (Finland).
8x23 Show #1481
27 September, 2000 8:00 am
Dave comments on Monday's rant by stating that while he has never been a non-voting Republican (according to the Times Magazine), he once registered as a Democrat. Later, Denzel Washington promotes "Remember the Titans" and wishes his wife a happy birthday.
8x24 Show #1482
28 September, 2000 8:00 am
Dave begins the evening by announcing, "Tonight is my final performance." Meanwhile, Vince Gill sits in, and presidential candidate Ralph Nader makes a campaign stop.
8x25 Show #1483
29 September, 2000 8:00 am
Dave makes another Ball State Football Update, declaring last week's 74-0 trouncing by Kansas State as being closer than the score reveals. Later, Alan Kalter interrupts Dave to scoff at news of Barbra Streisand's last concert, takes some time alone, then sobs uncontrollably.
8x26 Show #1484
02 October, 2000 8:00 am
A segment called "What's On TV This Week" is interrupted by two guys who burst into the theater fighting. Later, Tom Cavanaugh promotes his new show, "Ed."
8x27 Show #1485
03 October, 2000 8:00 am
"Late Show Iron Chef" -- Joe G. vs. Rupert Jee, Round 2: Rupert makes an omelet with Cajun spices, while Joe G makes a ham calzone; Maria Pope declares Joe G the winner.
8x28 Show #1486
04 October, 2000 8:00 am
Paul's sick tonight, so Anton's in charge and Cliff Carter sits in on keyboards. Dave calls "Paul" (who has a nasty upper respiratory thing), with Barry White providing the ailing bandleader's voice. Later, the annual "New for Fall" segment introduces "Biff Henderson's All-Star Impressions of Sleeping Celebrities" and drinking fountains filled with hot cocoa.
8x29 Show #1487
05 October, 2000 8:00 am
Biff plays "Super Unlabeled Canned Goods of the Night" (now with institutional-sized cans). Biff tastes chili, but Warren thinks it was chili the last time he sat in. He's wrong: it was ravioli on Sept. 15. Oh yeah, and Paul's still sick.
8x30 Show #1489
09 October, 2000 8:00 am
Since Paul's still sick, a guy comes out to show what Paul would have worn tonight; Eddie Brill fills in for Alan; Al Rent of Ball State comes out to give Dave the game ball from their big win that weekend; Ben Stiller has a dream where he walks onstage naked.
8x31 Show #1488
06 October, 2000 8:00 am
Dave welcomes Rulon Gardner, who won the gold medal in wrestling at the Sydney Olmypics. Later, Warren Zevon promotes his new album.
8x32 Show #1490
10 October, 2000 8:00 am
Barry White impersonates Paul via telephone yet again; after the latest edition of "Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts," Alan plugs "PK: The Pat and Kenny Magazine"; Jim Gaffigan promotes "Welcome to New York."
8x33 Show #1491
11 October, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert grabs a Kleenex® from Dave's desk during the jokes; Warren Zevon is still sitting in for Paul, who has developed pneumonia; a segment called "What Does It Cost?" reveals that Dave Dorsett takes his pay in adult videos.
8x34 Show #1492
12 October, 2000 8:00 am
Like he has on previous nights, Calvert walks through during the monologue. Tonight, he goes to Dave's desk, picks up the phone and dials, says "Get me the police!," hangs up and walks out. Later, Spike Lee plugs "Bamboozled."
8x35 Show #1493
13 October, 2000 8:00 am
During tonight's "Alan Kalter's Campaign Round-Up," the announcer sings an impromptu rendition of "Who Let the Dogs Out"; George Clarke attempts to lose weight by fasting through the rest of the show, only to end up treating himself to a hoagie after the first interview; Dave bullies Warren and Anton into writing and performing an original composition on the spot.
8x36 Show #1494
16 October, 2000 8:00 am
Paul's back and finished with his lengthy bout with pneumonia; throughout the week Dave introduces vegetables that didn't win a prize at the fair, and tonight it's farmer Bob Fowler and his regular-sized squash; Miss America 2001 (Miss Hawaii) demonstrates one version of a hula.
8x37 Show #1495
17 October, 2000 8:00 am
Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande come out (a day late) with roses for Paul to celebrate his return. Dave announces that he's not feeling too well, so Nadine and Andrea come back to cheer him up.
8x38 Show #1496
18 October, 2000 8:00 am
Dave lists some rejected Ball State mascot names from long ago, and learns that their previous nickname was the "Hoosieroons." So, Dave announces that Ball State may name its football stadium for him provided they change the mascot back from Cardinals to Hoosieroons. Also, Dave shows Joaquin Phoenix what a silver dollar looks like.
8x39 Show #1497
19 October, 2000 8:00 am
After months of fruitless attempts, Dave finally lands Republican presidential candidate George Walker Bush as a guest on the show. During the interview, Dave grills Dubya about current events and the future president can't seem to give him a straight answer.
8x40 Show #1498
20 October, 2000 8:00 am
Dave show clip of Gov George bush from yesterdays show where bush cleans his glasses with sweater of lady standing next to him during break (producer Maria Pope)
8x41 Show #1499
30 October, 2000 8:00 am
8x42 Show #1500
31 October, 2000 8:00 am
During the annual "Halloween Costumes" segment, Calvert claims a dead fish as his treat and Dave's car the morning after All Hallow's Eve; George Clarke gorges himself on candy in the basement; Dave shows a clip of Kenny Sheehan's guest role as the metal shop teacher on the October 29 episode of "Ed"; after being mocked on last night's Tonight Show, Dave does a crude Jay Leno impression.
8x43 Show #1501
01 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert stands right smack in front of Dave at his desk and has to be shooed away; Biff, with a little help from Benny Agbayani, does an experiment on juiced baseballs on the roof; Alec Baldwin sticks gum on Maria's jacket during a commercial break.
8x44 Show #1502
02 November, 2000 8:00 am
Dave calls Biff out to answer the question of an audience member: "Does he sleep with his headset on?" Of course he does. Later, Dave makes fun of a James Brolin made-for-TV movie from last night.
8x45 Show #1503
03 November, 2000 8:00 am
Madonna makes her first guest appearance in over six years.
8x46 Show #1504
06 November, 2000 8:00 am
Dave reports that before the show he was trying to trim his hair above his ears and accidentally buzzed himself in the lobe; the winners of the NYC Marathon run through, followed shortly by Calvert; Moby and Gwen Stefani sing "South Side."
8x47 Show #1505
08 November, 2000 8:00 am
It's the day after the infamous presidential election, so Calvert walks onstage and asks Dave, "How'd Nixon do?" Later, Dave shows (bogus) CBS election coverage with the headline "Nader Wins."
8x48 Show #1506
09 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert comes by for a smoke, then sings "Who Let the Dogs Out?" with Alan; Cokie Roberts offers her predictions on the election recount, as does Patricia Arquette.
8x49 Show #1507
10 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert interrupts the jokes, asking for a sandwich; during "CBS Mailbag," Dave makes a quick trip to Europe to visit his three Dutch fans, then accidentally decapitates Paul; Lucy Liu demonstrates a hair flip.
8x50 Show #1508
13 November, 2000 8:00 am
During the monologue, Dave does a "Classic Clinton Joke": "He's so fat he can't see who he's having sex with." Also, Biff reports from the election mess in Palm Beach County, Florida.
8x51 Show #1509
14 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert comes out to tear up the cue card for the Classic Clinton Joke; Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; Alan congratulates Hillary Clinton on behalf of her winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, then makes a very lewd offer.
8x52 Show #1510
15 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert serves Dave some coffee; Mike Myers shows a clip from a movie he made when he was 13.
8x53 Show #1511
16 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert comes out to clean his glasses on Dave's jacket; Michael McDonald (of Steely Dan and Doobie Brothers fame) sits in; the show closes with the CBS Orchestra playing the theme from Dave's 1980 morning show, which was written by McDonald.
8x54 Show #1512
17 November, 2000 8:00 am
Anton tells about his troubles with a kid on Halloween; Dave's interview with Val Kilmer goes horribly awry.
8x55 Show #1513
20 November, 2000 8:00 am
After having one flag put on the set last night, Dave now has two flags behind his desk so he can "look more presidential." Later, Dave gives Susan Sarandon a silver gravy serving bowl.
8x56 Show #1514
21 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert comes out dressed like Dave and inspects a ballot; Dave demonstrates his improved facial maneuverability, and then thanks his dentist; the Brazilian Olympic bobsled team practices outside Joe G's.
8x57 Show #1515
22 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert comes out to comb his hair, and leaves the stage to a standing ovation. Also, Richard Simmons comes out in an orange and yellow turkey outfit, prompting Dave to defend himself with a fire extinguisher.
8x58 Show #1516
23 November, 2000 8:00 am
Dave apologizes for last night's show. Later, he shows highlights from the staff Thanksgiving Party, during which Dave dresses as a pilgrim and Paul gets thrown out for being Canadian.
8x59 Show #1517
24 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert applies Chap Stick to his face; Dave finally gives an explanation for his behavior two nights ago (something involving how he won't let anybody touch his neck); during "CBS Mailbag," Dave and Paul rush to the aid of a reluctant virgin in Massachusetts; David Gray sings "Babylon."
8x60 Show #1518
27 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert comes out with a remote control to zap Dave; a tiger cub belonging to Jack Hanna develops a strange fondness for Dave.
8x61 Show #1519
28 November, 2000 8:00 am
Rather than do something, Calvert walks onstage, stands next to Dave for ten seconds, then walks away; Dave now has twelve flags behind his desk; Dave and Martha Stewart make Beef Wellington; live via satellite from Dallas, Al Cordova is stuffed into a giant duffel bag.
8x62 Show #1520
29 November, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert cleans the cameras; Dave refers to Paul as "President-elect Paul W. Shaffer;" Dave mentions that magician David Blaine is frozen alive in a block of ice at Times Square...cut live to the boiler room, where George Clarke dumps a bucket of ice into his britches.
8x63 Show #1521
11 December, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert walks onstage drinking a quart of egg nog straight out of the carton; to promote Dave's upcoming appearance in Bosnia, Biff visits a troop stationed there. In honor of his appearance, Biff shows off a commemorative coin that they gave to him.
8x64 Show #1522
12 December, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert drinks more egg nog; Charles Grodin; 2000 NASCAR Winston Cup champion Bobby Labonte; Dave shows outtake footage of last night's "Biff in Bosnia."
8x65 Show #1523
13 December, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows a picture of President-elect Bush wearing a funny cowboy hat; in case there are any updates on tonight's decision, live via satellite, three guys stand around in Austin, Tallahassee and the U.S. Supreme Court building.
8x66 Show #1524
14 December, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows a clip of MSNBC's Bob Kur mumbling during his report of last night's Supreme Court decision; an audience member tries to sneak out of "Know Your Current Events."
8x67 Show #1525
15 December, 2000 8:00 am
Paul walks over to adjust Dave's shirt; Calvert drinks more egg nog; during Mailbag, we watch "Dave's Trip to Norway," in which he ends up in Finland by mistake; Gerard thanks the country for electing George W. Bush because "(he's) one lazy-ass writer," then brings out all the actors who played his son Kevin.
8x68 Show #1526
18 December, 2000 8:00 am
Dave shows a clip of President-elect Bush and Colin Powell hugging rather awkwardly; Rupert, Mujibur, Sirajul, and Joe G. decorate the Late Show Christmas Tree; in honor of the aforementioned clip, Dave and Sean Connery attempt to hug as well.
8x69 Show #1527
19 December, 2000 8:00 am
It's "Bosnia Night" on the Late Show: Dave wears night-vision goggles during the monologue; the audience consists entirely of members of the Armed Forces; the Hi-Ho girls deliver t-shirts to the troops; Tom Hanks arrives via parachute; Darlene Love performs "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)."
8x70 Show #1528
20 December, 2000 8:00 am
In honor of his 35 years with CBS, Dave gives cameraman Dave Dorsett a fake Christmas gift; Dave announces that staff morale at the Late Show has never been lower, so Paul suggests the services of Montel Williams as a motivational speaker; in honor of the film Castaway, George Clarke is locked into the theater's boiler room and quickly becomes disheveled and deranged.
8x71 Show #1529
21 December, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert sprays snow from a can on a camera lens. Dave squeegees it, but he gets the foam all over his suit. Also, comedian John Witherspoon does impressions of Nat King Cole and Johnny Mathis.
8x72 Show #1530
22 December, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert is dressed as Santa; during Mailbag, Alan prepares for a role in a porno movie by sitting in a bathtub filled with egg nog; Brian Regan comments on the joys of air travel.
8x73 Show #1531
26 December, 2000 8:00 am
Calvert comes out with his shiny new scooter; Dave asks Steph/Monty to tape "Jackass" for him; Paul discusses Hanukkah, then admits that he's in a drunken stupor; Dave claims that he's cold, so one of his assistants walks onstage to give him gloves to wear.
8x74 Show #1532
27 December, 2000 8:00 am
Dave tells 10 "It's so cold..." jokes; Dave, Rupert and others bid a fond farewell to Joe G. Pizza, which is moving to W. 56th Street next month; Dave mentions a "Cue Cards Awards Dinner" that is being held in a secret location tomorrow night.
8x75 Show #1533
28 December, 2000 8:00 am
Dave has a special new year’s message for the kids (not to mention his biker buddies): “Ride straight.” Also, Dave tells six more “It’s so cold…” jokes during the monologue, and “Commissioner” Bill DeLace give New Year’s safety tips.
8x76 Show #1534
29 December, 2000 8:00 am
8x77 Show #1535
08 January, 2001 8:00 am
Dave mentions that Ed won a People's Choice Award for Best New Series. He says he's never won one "because the people don't like me." Alan Kalter brags about winning a similar award for "Alan Kalter's Campaign Round-Up," then taunts Dave by ripping his shirt off.
8x78 Show #1536
09 January, 2001 8:00 am
An old man resembling Calvert walks onstage after the monologue; 60's pop singer Jackie DeShannon sits in and croons some of her biggest hits; Dave shows (bogus) footage of President Clinton moving his belongings to FlashDancers; Alan Kalter makes several lewd comments about Secretary of Labor nominee Linda Chavez.
8x79 Show #1537
10 January, 2001 8:00 am
The old guy/Calvert surrogate from last night stares blankly at the camera; Dave asks Steph/Monty for dental tools; another "Day in the Life of Hillary Clinton" skit is abandoned, this time by Kenny Sheehan's indecent commentary.
8x80 Show #1538
11 January, 2001 8:00 am
Throughout the night, Giants placekicker Brad Deluiso kicks field goals. Also, Kim Cattrall claims Garry Shandling tried to set her up with Dave years ago, but Dave denies it.
8x81 Show #1539
12 January, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: Pat Farmer wears a skirt, while a hot dog vender (Michael Z. McIntee) sells Dave a hot dog with "I love you" spelled in mustard.
8x82 Show #1540
15 January, 2001 8:00 am
Dave shows a photo of a cake Dorothy made to commemorate the one-year anniversary of his quintuple-bypass; Dave asks Steph/Monty for some Miller® Lite inflatable chairs; after Barry White cancels at the last minute, Nancy Agostini shows highlights from yesterday's Giants-Vikings playoff game.
8x83 Show #1541
16 January, 2001 8:00 am
Dave starts off the show by discussing the launch of Oprah's new magazine, and then he shows a copy of Martha Stewart's rag, claiming that for a time Martha was penniless and living in hollow tree. Then he points out that now Rosie O'Donnell has a magazine. Exasperated, Dave says he's getting his own magazine "chock full of tips on how to live your life just like me!" and shows bogus Dave and Oprah magazines.
8x84 Show #1542
17 January, 2001 8:00 am
Dave complains that his chair is not as comfortable as he would like it to be, then hypothesizes that it's the lumbar adjustment that's causing the problems; during the latest "Last Time" segment, Alan pleads with Dave to retain the Top Ten list; Pat and Kenny create some awkward sexual tension.
8x85 Show #1543
18 January, 2001 8:00 am
Dave admits that he's addicted to carbohydrates; NYC Chief of Police Bill DeLace gives snow survival tips; Dave shows two clips of George W. Bush pronouncing big words.
8x86 Show #1544
19 January, 2001 8:00 am
On the eve of President Bush's inauguration, Dave tells one last "Classic Clinton Joke" from 1998. Also, during Mailbag, the staff falls victim to a gas leak, while a question about Alan's hair is answered by the announcer turning bright red and running around like a loony.
8x87 Show #1545
29 January, 2001 8:00 am
Dave comments on yesterday's Giants-Ravens Super Bowl, then shows footage of MVP Ray Lewis with confetti stuck on his face. Also, Maria Pope introduces Dave to prison guard Debb Eaton, the first contestant eliminated from Survivor: Outback.
8x88 Show #1546
30 January, 2001 8:00 am
Throughout the night, various celebrities (such as Regis and Dave) endorse a "Hacking Cough of the Night." Also, Biff introduces his report from Super Bowl XXXV in Tampa, where he interrogates N'Sync and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith.
8x89 Show #1547
31 January, 2001 8:00 am
Dave demands that Johnny Knoxville from "Jackass" appear on the show; Dave shows a clip of President Bush slapping the first lady in the butt in public; Jeff Probst and a guy pretending to be Leslie Moonves promote Survivor: Outback.
8x90 Show #1548
01 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave casually mentions that today is the nineteenth anniversary of his first foray into late night, and Nancy Agostini and Mike McIntee walk out and give Paul flowers. Later, Dave chats with Tony Siragusa of the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens.
8x91 Show #1549
02 February, 2001 8:00 am
During Mailbag, Harold Larkin goes to Jupiter, then looses his pants due to their extreme gravity; Alan Kalter discusses Good Morning America's plan to show a live childbirth on Tuesday, then offers his services for a live conception; Jack Black promotes Saving Silverman.
8x92 Show #1550
05 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave's desk has been repainted a gaudy light blue; Dave rants about last Saturday's debut of the XFL, demanding that the players huck folding chairs at each other; "non-surviving Survivor" Kel Gleason denies that he brought a secret food stash to the Australian Outback.
8x93 Show #1551
06 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave mentions that the front of his desk was painted blue the previous weekend, and now we know why: it's a makeshift screen for projecting various pieces of videotape. Amongst the clips: a monkey washing a cat, a kaliedoscope, footage of the sinking of the Titanic, and a clip from Jennifer Lopez's new film The Wedding Planner.
8x94 Show #1552
07 February, 2001 8:00 am
In conjunction with a certain upstart football league, Dave announces that the show will change its name to "XLS- the Extreme Late Show," effective immediately. Also, Dave makes a long distance call to Melbourne, Australia just so he can hear somebody say "G'day."
8x95 Show #1553
08 February, 2001 8:00 am
Biff reports from Bloomfield, Connecticut; an audience member plays Chopin on Paul's piano; history repeats itself as Dave announces that New York State Police Trooper William McClellan got him last night for going 80 in a 55 zone.
8x96 Show #1554
09 February, 2001 8:00 am
For the last month or so, a little old man walks onstage during the monologue, stands next to Dave, and walks away. Tonight, there's a twist: the old guy walks out, and followed soon after by an annoyed-looking Calvert. Both walk off stage without incident. Also, during Mailbag, "Police Chief" Bill DeLace gives dating tips, while "Bill Clinton" (Gerard) steals one of the guest chairs.
8x97 Show #1555
12 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave engages in a lengthy discussion about stomach flu, then calls Art Kelly upstairs to inquire about staff members with the virus. Shortly afterwards, Art hands the phone to Stephanie "Monty" Birkitt, and Dave asks her if controversial Clinton pal Denise Rich has answered his calls.
8x98 Show #1556
13 February, 2001 8:00 am
It's milestone in the long and celebrated history of "Stupid Pet Tricks" as Regis the duck eats cottage cheese out of owner Rebecca Kraft's mouth. The sight of the stunt is so repulsive that Dave shows the clip repeatedly for several weeks to come.
8x99 Show #1557
14 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave shows a Valentine's Day bouquet he claims came from Jackass star Johnny Knoxville; Dave comments on last night's grotesque Stupid Pet Trick, then shows the clip of the "rabid dingo" biting him in June 2000; Dave offers an office and a plump, young intern to President Clinton.
8x100 Show #1558
15 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave announces that last night's show has been pardoned by ex-President Clinton; daredevil Steve Direnzo jumps off the roof of the theater, then comes in to take a bow; "Biff Henderson's America" takes a pit stop in Franklin, Idaho.
8x101 Show #1559
16 February, 2001 8:00 am
A segment called "Dave's Henchmen Force a Price Waterhouse Executive to Reveal the Best-Picture Winner" pretty much explains itself; during Mailbag, a spoof of the upcoming film "Hannibal" reveals that Paul's brain is made out of guacamole; "George Clarke's Celebrity Interview" finds our hero shirtless, much to the annoyance of guest Kelsey Grammer.
8x102 Show #1560
19 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave goes on one of his all-time greatest rants, this time protesting the inhumane conditions on Survivor: Outback, then chastises Tony for supposedly picking his nose with a cue-card. Also, the latest eliminated contestant on the aforementioned reality show, seven-foot-tall musician Mitchell Olsen, suddenly starts singing "I Will Survive."
8x103 Show #1561
20 February, 2001 8:00 am
Alan Kalter interrupts Dave with a few seductive words for Jennifer Lopez on the occasion of her break-up with Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs. Shortly afterwards, he starts singing some sort of ballad, when suddenly "Big Red" is shot several times. Dave, looking rather deadpan through all of this, recommends Bacitracin® ointment for Alan's multiple gunshot wounds.
8x104 Show #1562
21 February, 2001 8:00 am
Throughout the night, Don Hewitt (aka the Man on Fire) is body-checked by several New York Rangers; during Mailbag, an audience woman names her dog in honor of Dave ("Come along, ***hole"); Nelly Furtado performs "I'm Like A Bird."
8x105 Show #1563
22 February, 2001 8:00 am
George Clarke interrogates celebrites at last night's Grammys; ten grade-schoolers from Bowie, Maryland present the Top Ten; live via telephone, Dr. Henry Kissinger says the name of an audience member; Shaggy performs "It Wasn't Me."
8x106 Show #1564
23 February, 2001 8:00 am
Sam Moore (of Sam & Dave) and Billy Preston sit in; Kansas State University high jumper Nathen Leeper can't demonstrate his talents on 53rd Street because of a snowstorm; during Mailbag, Alan smears macaroni & cheese into his hair, while "police chief" Bill DeLace threatens the audience; Nathan throws a dummy over the high jump bar.
8x107 Show #1565
26 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave shows off his brand new desk, then complains that he has nothing worth asking to "Survivor: Outback" loser Kimmi Kappenberg; Les Moonves and "Fidel Castro" (Tony) go out for lunch.
8x108 Show #1566
27 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave shows the woman/duck and "rabid dingo" clips yet again; Dave discusses the new theory that a meteorite may prove life on Mars, prompting Alan Kalter to go berserk with conspiracy theories; Emmylou Harris, Gillian Welch, Alison Krauss and Dan Timinski and the Soggy Bottom Boys perform a medley of songs from the film O Brother, Where Art Thou?
8x109 Show #1567
28 February, 2001 8:00 am
Dave announces that after a recent awkward experience, he will no longer attend network meetings of any kind; Les Moonves and Fidel/Inky continue eating lunch; Dave shows footage of President Bush correctly pronouncing "contingencies."
8x110 Show #1568
01 March, 2001 8:00 am
Dave sheds more light on his rant from the previous night, asking Paul if an network exec has ever said to him, "Do you have a problem with me?" Also, Martin Short performs a musical number about the recent one-year anniversary of Dave's return to television, complete with dancing nurses.
8x111 Show #1569
02 March, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: "My son Tommy turns five on Saturday. Will you come to his party?" Dave says he'd love to, then drives over to the kid's house. The magic of a celebrity guest appearance is hampered, however, when Tommy admits that he wanted Leno instead.
8x112 Show #1570
12 March, 2001 8:00 am
Dave introduces himself as “David Letterman… TV badass”; Dave discusses the handling of the non-surviving Survivor: Outback contestants, then wonders if they’ll put him on probation for his conduct; Jill Scott sings “Love Rain.”
8x114 Show #1572
14 March, 2001 8:00 am
Dave says he's finished sending lemon trees to guests he may have irritated, then makes his NCAA Tournament picks. Also, throughout the night, Pat Farmer shoots hoops on the roof.
8x115 Show #1573
19 March, 2001 8:00 am
The suit that Paul's wearing tonight reminds Dave of Colonel Harland Sanders; the band plays songs by The Mamas and the Papas, in honor of the recently deceased John Philips; Dave rants about Tivo; after Dave mentions that the Survivor runners-up receive gifts when they appear on Rosie O'Donnell's talk show, latest loser Alicia Callaway brags about her new recliner and flat screen TV.
8x116 Show #1574
20 March, 2001 8:00 am
Johnny Johnson and James Burton sit in with the band; Dave shows footage of MIR returning to earth, only to decimate the camp where [i]Survivor: Outback[/i] was filmed; Alan rants about why The Bay City Rollers are not in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame, then suddenly starts singing "Saturday Night."
8x117 Show #1575
21 March, 2001 8:00 am
Dave introduces the bandleader as "Paul W. Shaffer"; the "spring flying rat migration" is observed outside; Bill DeLace does a hidden-camera Top Ten inside a beauty salon.
8x118 Show #1576
26 March, 2001 9:00 am
A segment called "What We Love about Spring in New York" finds George Clarke in his favorite sundress and Harold Larkin beating the crap out of a pay phone. Also, Dave refuses to read #1 on tonight's Top Ten because he disagrees with the joke ("Gladiator sucks!").
8x119 Show #1577
27 March, 2001 9:00 am
Dave announces he's feuding with AOL, claiming that they're "a rinky dink little deal" and that the "bastard geeks" are monitoring his email; the Top Ten is aborted; Nathan Lane performs a number from the hot Broadway show The Producers.
8x120 Show #1578
28 March, 2001 9:00 am
A really tall guy (approximately 6' 8") sits in with the band; Biff goes to Chappaqua, New York to gather gossip on the Clintons; Train performs "Drops of Jupiter."
8x121 Show #1579
29 March, 2001 9:00 am
Paul's weekend plans are somehow incorporated into "Know Your Current Events," while Dave finally meets his hero du jour, Johnny Knoxville of Jackass.
8x122 Show #1580
30 March, 2001 9:00 am
At the end of the monologue, Dave does his suit-modeling shtick; during Mailbag, Dave gets included in this year's Academy Award "In Memoriam" reel; Dave decides that from now on he'll do one thing each evening to annoy CBS, and for starters, he yawns repeatedly.
8x123 Show #1581
02 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave and Paul announce that on Friday a 40-piece orchestra will be sitting in onstage later in the week; Dave rants about AOL again; Warren Zevon performs "I Was in the House When the House Burned Down."
8x124 Show #1582
03 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave claims he's been sending tons of obscene e-mail to AOL and that is ready to sue them for monitoring everyone's messages; Biff makes his annual visit to Yankees Spring Training; after Dave brings up David Copperfield's latest stunt "The Tornado of Fire," we go to the boiler room for George Clarke's "The Tornado of Soup," in which several buckets full of soup are thrown at him.
8x125 Show #1583
04 April, 2001 8:00 am
The "Late Show All-Star Security Camera" finds 70's sitcom star Gabe Kaplan trying to sneak inside the theater; Dave and Gaines argue over a Top Ten list that may be too offensive to air on TV, but Dave reads it anyway; Alan rants about the upcoming final episode of Xena: Warrior Princess, and to no one's surprise, falls to the ground and sobs in the fetal position.
8x126 Show #1584
05 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave tells a lengthy "driving home on 684" story, and later he chats with a pair of fraturnal twins that recently interviewed former President Clinton.
8x127 Show #1585
06 April, 2001 8:00 am
After four days in the making, it's "Orchestra Night" at the Late Show, with fifty combined strings, brass, and woodwind players taking up nearly the entire stage; during Mailbag, Paul and Dave settle a small claims dispute on the new daytime law program "Tony Mendez: Angry Cuban Judge"; Carson Daly is introduced to the tune of Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir"; Dave gets a free harp lesson.
8x128 Show #1586
09 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave fumes over the reworked DVD edition of Lawrence of Arabia, and Jerry Foley letterboxes Dave and turns him blue to show the home viewers what Daddy saw on the disc. Later, he chats with Coach Mike Krzyzewski of NCAA men's hoops champ Duke University.
8x129 Show #1587
10 April, 2001 8:00 am
8x130 Show #1588
11 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave returns to last night's rant about his faulty Lawrence of Arabia DVD, and announces that the producers sent him a new copy today, and that it did the same thing, thus leading Dave to the conclusion that his Pioneer DVD player was the problem all along. Later in the show, he flips through a catalog to pick a new player.
8x131 Show #1589
12 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave celebrates birthday #54 by repeatedly showing a Gap ad featuring a very comely woman dancing/walking; we are treated to a clip show of some of the various moments of the last year, including the "dingo" bite and the cottage cheese-loving duck; Maria mentions that Pioneer was willing to give Dave a new DVD player on-air, but Dave politely screamed "No!"; the Hi-Ho girls bring out a giant cake, and Biff delivers slices to the audience.
8x132 Show #1590
13 April, 2001 8:00 am
CBS Mailbag: "Who does your taxes?" Dave points out that someone named Jimmy does his taxes, and via flashback, we learn Jimmy is actually a dog. At the end of the segment, Jimmy walks onstage to a standing ovation. Also, Dave claims Paul and Felicia were married in Brussels, Belgium over the weekend, and ten accountants (including Fred Nigro) present the Top Ten.
8x133 Show #1591
23 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave looks back at all the interviews he's done with booted Survivor contestants, then gives his usual cold-shoulder approach to 5th place finisher Rodger Bingham.
8x134 Show #1592
24 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave announces the woman from the Gap commercials is going to be on the show later this month, and then grumbles that he's given the Gap® several free runs of the commercial and he hasn't gotten any freebies from them. In a last ditch effort, Dave orders Jerry to run the commercial two more times, and near the end of the show he skims through their latest catalog.
8x135 Show #1593
25 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave reports CBS sales figures the Late Show has run about $750,000 worth of free Gap® commercials so far, and for the first fifteen minutes of the show Tony accounts the free items Dave may or may not be receiving (a $640 value). In honor of having "Gap Girl" Melissa Bernheim on the show tomorrow night, George Clarke does his own version of the scintillating commercial.
8x136 Show #1594
26 April, 2001 8:00 am
Throughout the night, "Gap Girl" Melissa Bernheim dances onstage; Dave mentions his victory at last night's American Comedy Awards; Dave says CBS will air this year's semi-controversial Miss Universe on May 11, so "Miss France, Elodie Gossuin" (Gerard) attempts to put at rest the idea that Miss France is male, with little conviction.
8x137 Show #1595
27 April, 2001 8:00 am
Melissa Bernheim dances onstage again; during Mailbag, Dave's middle initial is added to the theatre marquee, but if falls off and kills a guy; John Goodman does his own version of dance, and then gives Dave a jar of cocktail okra.
8x138 Show #1596
30 April, 2001 8:00 am
Dave comments on Survivor contestant Elizabeth Filarski's hair loss and how the producers of the show did not come to her aid; Dave (repeatedly) shows a clip from last night's live performance of On Golden Pond, during which he rants about censorship after the clip shows a boy saying "bulls***ting'" rather than stand by Maria's desk, Dave invites Elizabeth to sit down; Kirsten Dunst celebrates her 19th birthday.
8x139 Show #1597
01 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave says the ladies on staff at the Empire State Building gave him a private viewing at the Hayden Planetarium. Also, Dave shows a (fake) clip of The Weakest Link where "Anne Robinson" (Kathleen Ankers) goes on a profanity-laced tirade.
8x140 Show #1598
02 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave tells multiple “It was so hot today…” jokes; the outside cam catches a doctor at a sidewalk booth doing laser eye surgery with a magnifying glass; Dave plays the background music from “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” during his latest chat with Regis.
8x141 Show #1599
03 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave announces he's the real Survivor; all sixteen of the show's most recent contestants present the Top Ten; Stevie Nicks performs "Candlebright."
8x142 Show #1600
04 May, 2001 8:00 am
Shuggie Otis sits in on guitar, and later the band performs his one and only hit, "Strawberry Letter 23." Also, during Mailbag, Gerard and his fake son Timmy comment on the pending writer's strike.
8x143 Show #1601
07 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave mentions the Kentucky Derby, then whines about not getting to hear Dave Johnson saying “…and down the stretch they come!” Luckily, the other Dave does it for Daddy by phone. Later, Dave (the host) chats with Survivor: Outback champion Tina Wesson.
8x144 Show #1602
08 May, 2001 8:00 am
8x145 Show #1603
09 May, 2001 8:00 am
In her first appearance on the show, intuitive Deborah Lynn attempts to get George Clooney's phone number. She gives Dave a random number, but it's invalid. After the first commercial break, Dave asks her to find Pamela Anderson's number, but he ends up chatting with the owner of a trucking company in Idaho.
8x146 Show #1604
10 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave rants about last night's Country Music Awards, claiming it's not "real country" anymore; Harold Larkin addresses an important labor issue until the whistle blows and he has to go back to work; Jenna Elfman tells a funny (albeit lengthy) story about donating bone marrow.
8x147 Show #1605
11 May, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: "I'm going to see a movie this weekend. Which one should I see?" Dave introduces a segment called "Kenny Sheehan's Movie Review," during which the stagehand watches a movie, and then hates it so much he destroys the projector. Also, Dave wishes his mom (live via satellite) a Happy Mother's Day, so a stand-in for Dave gives Dorothy a hug, and later they chug a few Heinekens.
8x148 Show #1606
14 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave calls Art Kelly (the theater receptionist) about a possibly offensive joke from last Fridays' monologue involving Miss Columbia and having smuggling heroin as her talent. Dave apologizes (sort of) to a Columbian consulate, then goes on with the rest of show. Also, "Biff Henderson's America" takes a look at the hamlet of Whiting, Maine.
8x149 Show #1607
15 May, 2001 8:00 am
Returning to last night's controversy, Dave announces Miss Columbia 2001 will be a guest on Thursday's show, then profusely apologizes for the heroin-smuggling remark; Dave shows an ad for CNN's season-ending cliffhanger; R.E.M. performs "All the Way to Reno (You're Going To Be a Star").
8x150 Show #1608
16 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave tells a string of “It’s so dry…” jokes during the monologue; David Byrne performs “Like Humans Do.”
8x151 Show #1609
17 May, 2001 8:00 am
A technical issue near Paul's keyboards is repaired in the middle of the first act; Dave mentions that a cover of The Weathergirls' "It's Raining Men" (written by Paul in 1983) is the #1 hit in the UK for the second week in a row; Dave apologizes in person to Miss Columbia Andrea Noceli, then almost forgets to give her flowers.
8x152 Show #1610
18 May, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: harp player Gloria Agostini plays live accompaniment for the chin-rubbing flashbacks, Anton feeds his goldfish chips and salsa, and Tony ruins the season finale of The Sopranos by dropping the bombshell en espanol.
8x153 Show #1611
21 May, 2001 8:00 am
Buddy Guy sits in on guitar; Dave congratulates Regis on his much-deserved Daytime Emmy win; Steph/Monty tells an amusing story about her incontinent Doberman; Alan Kalter has a special message for the five wives of a recently convicted polygamist in Colorado City, Utah.
8x154 Show #1612
22 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave shows the audience his favorite (bogus) moment from last night's show: astronaut/billionaire Dennis Tito vaporizing Dave's head with his laser eyes. Also, Ellen Degeneres promotes an upcoming cable special, while a Stupid Human Trick is performed twice.
8x155 Show #1613
23 May, 2001 8:00 am
Ray Benson sits in; "NYPD Chief of Police" William DeLace gives tips to college grads; baseball great Lawrence "Yogi" Berra promotes his autobiography.
8x156 Show #1614
24 May, 2001 8:00 am
Dave celebrates Bob Dylan's 60th birthday with concert footage of a very old man struggling to play the guitar; Tony Orlando interrupts Dave to sing an original number about Memorial Day; Badly Drawn Boy (aka Damon Gough) performs "Once Around the Block."
8x157 Show #1615
25 May, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: "Have you ever seen the Monkey Man?" Dave introduces the Monkey Man, who as any keen-eyed viewer can attest, is actually Gerard Mulligan in disguise. Monkey Man shows us a clip what is supposed to be his footage of him wrecking havoc, but instead it's him superimposed on Shecky's "monkey washing the cat" stock footage. Afterward, Dave observes, "That's it. That's the lowest we've sunk... ever."
8x158 Show #1616
04 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave presents the new studio floor, which is now dark blue after several years of being crimson red; Dave admits he's having problems with his computer; Biff mentions that he's lost twenty pounds in the last month, then introduces yet another "Fun with a Bullhorn" segment.
8x159 Show #1617
05 June, 2001 8:00 am
Paul accidentally interrupts the monologue by getting attacked by a bee during the monologue, and Dave gives him grief for the remainder of the show.
8x160 Show #1618
06 June, 2001 8:00 am
It's time for a segment called "For the Kids." George Clarke hogs the attention of an ice cream vendor, a Toys r Us employee takes a bow, Tony attempts to teach basic phrases in Spanish before going on another one of his rants, and Alan gives birth.
8x161 Show #1619
07 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave drones on and on about a buzzkill staffer who declined Dave's offer of a free apple; in honor of this unknown staffer, Paul reprises his hit song "Lumpy Colon"; Dave repeats Rupert's very first "bothering people" bit from 1994.
8x162 Show #1620
08 June, 2001 8:00 am
During Mailbag, Dave is repelled by President Bush's daughter "Debbie" (Gerard); ten CBS affiliate weathermen present the Top Ten; Andy Dick promotes Go Fish.
8x163 Show #1621
11 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave criticizes the Los Angeles Lakers' "pixie" jerseys; Dave shows news footage of a bear in somebody's swimming pool, and then claims it's his backyard; Paul introduces some dweeb bouncing on a giant red beach ball.
8x164 Show #1622
12 June, 2001 8:00 am
Paul wins the latest round of "Late Show Pay Phone Trifecta"; Dave chats with Steph/Monty via telephone to discuss a blind date that never happened; the "Top Ten Other Television Shows Produced by Saddam Hussein" is sponsored by Altoids.
8x165 Show #1623
13 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave helps Paul with some computer problems; in honor of the coming demise of Bozo the Clown, Dave shows (bogus) footage of the kiddie show star; Tony Mendez tries to help NYC's reputation by going out and giving a tourist some help, only to end up shoplifting a VCR at a electronics store.
8x166 Show #1624
14 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave continues to discuss the retirement of Bozo the Clown, but his remarks about big, red, ugly hair results in an inevitable hissy fit from Alan. Also, Dave honors the passing of Leonard Tepper with old clips of "Leonard Tepper's Hidden Video" and Dave directing him and Rupert on how to annoy people.
8x167 Show #1625
15 June, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: “Can I host the show for a few minutes?” Sure enough, viewer Jason Lynch is hosting the show, while Dave sits in the green room watching Leno. Also, Paul admits that he just can’t get the hang of one of Dave’s favorite phrases: “…and down the stretch they come!”
8x168 Show #1626
18 June, 2001 8:00 am
After Paul admits that he doesn't recall what he looks like, Dave calls receptionist Art Kelly to ask if he's ever been formally introduced to the bandleader. Art doesn't give Dave a straight answer.
8x169 Show #1627
19 June, 2001 8:00 am
Team Rahal racer Kenny Brack inexpicably sits in on guitar, while David Sedaris reads a selection from his new book.
8x170 Show #1628
20 June, 2001 8:00 am
A remarkably slim and trim Biff introduces footage of him hanging out at the Grand Prix in Detroit. Also, Dave and Paul (of all people) talk about hair care, which proceeds into a new segment called "Hairpiece- Not a Hairpiece."
8x171 Show #1629
21 June, 2001 8:00 am
Paul sits in the guest chair for five minutes so he can promote Cover Wars, a new game show he's hosting on VH1. Also, Alan announces that Epil stop n' spray is the new official sponsor of the Top Ten list, then shows video footage of it's hair "restoration" abilities.
8x172 Show #1630
22 June, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: “What would you do if the world was coming to an end?” Dave admits he doesn’t know much about this topic, so he introduces astrophysicist “Dr. Saul Perlmütter” (Gerard), who announces that the world will end somewhat earlier than was previously thought; around Labor Day 2001, an eerie prediction.
8x173 Show #1631
25 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave has another rant about his computer problems, claiming that Late Show techno-guru Walter Kim keeps coming to his house on weekends to try to help, but he steers clear of insulting IBM because of an advertising agreement with CBS. Also, Dave brags out Max Papis' (of Team Rahal) victory in last weekend's Portland 200.
8x174 Show #1632
26 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave continues to steam over his technological issues; Catherine Zeta-Jones calls Dave "Jay" and profusely apologizes; Depeche Mode performs "I Feel Loved."
8x175 Show #1633
27 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave's computer problems only get worse, as he couldn't name a certain part he needed, causing IBM to send him the wrong part. Also, Dave chats with prep athlete Alan Webb, the new national high school mile record holder.
8x176 Show #1634
28 June, 2001 8:00 am
Dave goes on a spiel about the traffic on the interstate this morning; an "Incredible Dog Challenge" is held outside, with the winning dog jumping over a giant phony check for a million dollars; Brian Wilson, Darius Rucker, and Matthew Sweet perform The Beach Boys' "Sail On Sailor."
8x177 Show #1635
29 June, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: all of tonight's letters are read by James Earl Jones, George Clarke's flashback to a night of sex and gambling is sponsored by Donald Trump's Taj Mahal hotel, and an alleged Late Show writer is attacked by a bear.
8x178 Show #1636
09 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave announces that he may have parasites crawling around head, prompting Paul to call him a "maggot brain"; Dave and Steph/Monty go over vacation pictures; Dave confirms that he has parasites by taking a sentence on a blue card too literally; a guy bouncing a giant tether ball to his head makes an appearance on "Is This Anything?"
8x179 Show #1637
10 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave announces that Jude Brennan's cousin (a parasite expert) has told him that there's nothing to worry about. Also, on a remarkably star-studded night, Puff Daddy appears for a special Top Ten list, while Dave sees through Julia Robert's blouse and asks her if she's getting laid.
8x180 Show #1638
11 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave grumbles about the lack of quality guests appearing on the show, during which Paul comments on his inappropriate question towards Julia Roberts ("Are you getting laid these days?") last night. Dave replies with "exclusive" footage of Paul asking Barbara Bush the same question. Also, Pat, Kenny, and Harold Larkin star in the new HBO series "Sexy Guys, Sexy City," while a renegade blue card knocks out Tommy Lasorda.
8x181 Show #1639
12 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave theorizes on the show's four Emmy nominations (announced earlier that day)- either no one's watching or the voters don't care anymore; for the second night in a row, Alan is beaten up by a guy twice his size; a comedy bit from Show #499 about Steve Martin's preparations for appearing as a guest is repeated.
8x182 Show #1640
13 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave introduces "live satellite feed" of President Bush staring of into space; during Mailbag, Alan throws one of tonight's letter writers (played by Jay Johnson) out of a fourth-story window; ten chefs present the Top Ten.
8x183 Show #1641
16 July, 2001 8:00 am
Rather than come out of nowhere, Dave orders the muscle guy to pummel Alan; during a segment called "Summertime Leftovers," Dave once again shows footage of his "look-alike" (himself, circa his morning show) playing "Camptown Races" on the fiddle; Simpsons star Hank Azaria plugs America's Sweethearts.
8x184 Show #1642
17 July, 2001 8:00 am
Alan is caught nibbling on a pizza, but surprisingly doesn't get beaten up; Dave makes a snarky comment about Jay Leno's chin; former David Letterman Show announcer Bob Sarlette talks football with Dave over the closing credits.
8x185 Show #1643
18 July, 2001 8:00 am
Alan orders a pizza, and the delivery guy beats him up; live via satellite from the Indianapolis suburbs, Dorothy celebrates her 80th birthday with a Dave impersonator and a fridge full of Colt 45®; John McEnroe is interviewed twice after Dave gets curious as to which fellow tennis players he's dated.
8x186 Show #1644
19 July, 2001 8:00 am
Another pizza for Alan results in another beating for Alan; Dave shows a photo of the FBI Building with the "I" missing; Joan Osbourne and The Holmes Brothers perform "Can't No Grave Hold My Body Down."
8x187 Show #1645
20 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave brags about his mom's 80th birthday "whoop-tee-doo and grabass" this weekend; during Mailbag, Dave rescues Paul from The Man on Fire; Billy Crystal clobbers the guy who regularly beats up Alan.
8x188 Show #1646
23 July, 2001 8:00 am
A celebration for Calvert's 80th birthday turns into an excuse for Dave to ignore him and flirt with the Hi-Ho girls; Dave chats with Jeff Meyer, who named a poplar tree after Daddy; Christopher Walken talks about his recent appearance in the Fatboy Slim video "Weapon of Choice."
8x189 Show #1647
24 July, 2001 8:00 am
Delbert McClinton sits in; Steph/Monty (live via telephone from the 12th floor) discusses in length her plans from last weekend; Tom Selleck introduces an old movie clip of him, and then plays the ukulele.
8x190 Show #1648
25 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave proudly announces that he's wearing orange socks tonight, but only so he can shove Steph's face into a birthday cake after the show; Alan gets beat up yet again, and remains bruised and bloodied for the rest of the show; Mark Wahlberg promotes the remake of Planet of the Apes.
8x191 Show #1649
26 July, 2001 8:00 am
The tambourine player sitting in with the band beats up Alan; Dave shows another old comedy clip to kill time (Show #818, Dave's harassment of delivery people); Greg Kinnear tells Dave what it's like to pilot a single-engine airplane.
8x192 Show #1650
27 July, 2001 8:00 am
Mailbag: "How long has Paul been bald?" Dave fears that this might be a sensitive question, but Paul rubs his chin anyway. A flashback reveals that Paul used to have a long, wavy mane before an accident with Dave's chemistry set turned him into a bald, hideous freak. Vowing revenge, Paul turns into a superhero and eggs Dave's car.
8x193 Show #1651
30 July, 2001 8:00 am
Some guy dressed up as "Lance Armstrong" comes onstage on a bicycle and beats up Alan, then runs over to Hello Deli to pummel Rupert. Later, Dave shows photos of him stuffing Steph/Monty's face into a birthday cake, while filmmakers Mark Borchardt and Mike Shank go to Comic-Con.
8x194 Show #1652
31 July, 2001 8:00 am
Dave makes Rupert play a deli-themed version of "Beat the Clock." Later, after his conversation with Sean Combs goes longer than expected, Dave is forced to chat with newsanchor Daljit Dhaliwal for only a few seconds.
8x195 Show #1653
01 August, 2001 8:00 am
8x196 Show #1654
02 August, 2001 8:00 am
8x197 Show #1655
03 August, 2001 8:00 am
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